Time and dreaming about being a hero instead of a zero

Just a short post today, been away for some time, trying not to let go of the rollercoster that we have been going on for the last few months.

But that is how we roll lately, all of us.

or should I say most of us?

Went to the bay area, saw my little brother get married to the coolest woman with the most awesome family.

On the wedding: Was awesome , fun but don't ever leave to change without making sure all your party goes with you or is at least supervised while trying to win a tequila drinking contest with herself.

Went to Madrid in Spain for a bit and loved every minute of it.

On Madrid:

We rented a small flat by El Retiro Park up the hill from the Metro.

El Retiro Park is the coolest park, so much stuff going on.

Had Great views in our rented flat and emjoyed the use of public transportation while there....Metro, Bus and Walking...mostly bus and metro.

Los gatos de madrid are cool , up all nite and seem to live for non work related activities.

No one is out in the morning time unless you are are out because you are coming home from the night before.

Everyone walks, they love their doggies and always said Hello.

I blended in real good, all proper gear, but on our way to the airport on our way back home to Arizona, packed down with gear: a rollaway and a big old backpack...I must of seemed like the perfect target....for some kids that made the mistake of trying to open up my backpack...I felt the pull and could tell by the reaction of the people in front of me that I should turn around and I did.....these little kids freaked out...I chose to just stare them down ( I purposely did not put anything of value in those front pockets for this same reason) they got off at the next stop.

My battle ready little pumpkin wanted to smash them to bits and was mad because I did not tell her or do anything as it was happening.

But I knew that it was not worth being late for our plane or the damage that we both would of caused if we chose to fight.

Overall Madrid Rocked!! can't wait to go back to see all the spots we did not have time for, go back for the food we did not have time for.

Madrid is safe, you just have to make sure you don't look like a mark and take safety precautions with your money, I had a fake wallet where I would keep a small amount of euros (Under 10) that I would use openly for Coca Cola or snacks or the metro...big money was in a hidden pocket.

I will write a more detailed account of the activities and spots visited while in Spain.

But for now, Evilchavo Out.

The past| Looking back is hard to do

My mind is filled with frustration.

Life has been great lately.

But inside a giant lingers waiting in the shadows for his return.

There was a time in my life where all I did was walk the streets angry looking for trouble.

My mom practically abandoned me and the rent was due and no matter what I did all of it would go to sh*t.

I remember my stepgrandma bringing me bolillos from the bakery and a carton of those little .25 cent fruit punches and a carton of eggs to last me a month.

I was so angry, Broke, Alone, there was no money for getting drunk or for anything else.

I would go walking and looking for my friends but they were all gone, it seemed like everyone just up and left.

The ones that were left , I could not face...I did not feel worthy.

Finally after some time , I managed to get my life in a pretty good place and made the decision to look up one of those friends but I was still not worthy.

I was still not a man, I wanted to be more and to do that I had to work harder.....I worked and worked and then all these years passed then and now they are all gone.

Should of just faced them, then I wouldnt have all these regrets.

I feel not worthy again like when I was a kid, I think I am at crossroads in my life.

What to do? How to play it? Which road to take?

My Brother is getting married next week , which is really cool and maybe seeing him happy with his wife will make me feel better about life in general.

Evilchavo Out.

Ruco alos 12 anos| old Man

Been away for a while trying to figure some stuff out....but here is a post.....ThANks for reading.

I was 12 when my mom and dad got divorced.

That is when it happened, My first white hairs.

My dad had black and gray hair but his did not start until he got older.

I started getting white hairs at 12 and the older I get the more my hair turns black and white.

It rocks! I like getting older.

I like seeing ahead and figuring out the end result but sometimes I am still surprised and that is what makes life good. The little things , the little surprises.

I have always been the responsible one, the quiet one, the angry one, the one that has to take care of things and make things better .

We are going thru some rough times, the economy is not what it should be but everything in life is on a curve...has its ups and downs.

Sometimes all you have to do is hold on and then you will make it thru.

I regret nothing.

My life has been hard but I have stood by all my decisions , never doing something that I did not want to do.

Evilchavo Out.