Wednesday, August 19, 2009

The past| Looking back is hard to do

My mind is filled with frustration.

Life has been great lately.

But inside a giant lingers waiting in the shadows for his return.

There was a time in my life where all I did was walk the streets angry looking for trouble.

My mom practically abandoned me and the rent was due and no matter what I did all of it would go to sh*t.

I remember my stepgrandma bringing me bolillos from the bakery and a carton of those little .25 cent fruit punches and a carton of eggs to last me a month.

I was so angry, Broke, Alone, there was no money for getting drunk or for anything else.

I would go walking and looking for my friends but they were all gone, it seemed like everyone just up and left.

The ones that were left , I could not face...I did not feel worthy.

Finally after some time , I managed to get my life in a pretty good place and made the decision to look up one of those friends but I was still not worthy.

I was still not a man, I wanted to be more and to do that I had to work harder.....I worked and worked and then all these years passed then and now they are all gone.

Should of just faced them, then I wouldnt have all these regrets.

I feel not worthy again like when I was a kid, I think I am at crossroads in my life.

What to do? How to play it? Which road to take?

My Brother is getting married next week , which is really cool and maybe seeing him happy with his wife will make me feel better about life in general.

Evilchavo Out.

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